Oct. 20, 2021

Get resourceful with your time and find at least 2 hours per week for your family

Get resourceful with your time and find at least 2 hours per week for your family

Hey sister-friend,

If the military taught us anything, it's how to be resourceful with what we do have... like the amount of water we get while being out in the field (so if you wanted to brush your teeth every day you had to be resourceful ).

So why not do the same with the time we have to spend with our families?!

Here's what I've been hearing from my clients recently... "I don't have much time to spend with my kids".

My response: "You know how to be resourceful, so work with what you have ... focus on the time you do have".

 So in today's episode, I'll be sharing quick tips on being intentional with the time you do have so you can create quality time with the people that matter most to you.

Ready?

I hope you find this episode helpful and it blesses you!
xo,
Wendi

🔗 Find everything mentioned in today’s episode in the extended show notes at  http://www.beyondthemilitary.co/38

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Wendi: Hey SIS. Welcome to Beyond the Military Podcast. Where faith led military women overcome burnout and create more balance. Just imagine having enough time to focus on your faith family and have more fun. Also serving as a woman leader in this podcast, you will walk away with the tools to help you navigate the busy life of a military woman.

[00:00:19] Wendi: Organize your mind. Overcome overwhelm, create a privatization playbook, balanced blueprint for integrating. Family and career yeses in that order. Hi, I'm Wendy Ray, woman of God, life mama of two army veteran and certified life coach. I'm here to help you create a life of meaning outside of the military, a life of laughter joy and intentional free time.

[00:00:43] Wendi: If you are ready to overcome burnout and create balance as a faith led military woman, sis, this podcast is for you. So loosen up your laces and grabbed coffee because it's time to step into freedom and peace. Hey lady. And welcome to another episode, [00:01:00] ladies. I am so excited about today's topic, how to be resourceful with your time and how to find at least two hours per week for you and your family.

[00:01:07] Wendi: But before we get right into it, I want to share our most recent review that we received. And this is what epic artists have to say. Great podcast. What a strong, amazing leader. I love how, when he gives such great direction and is inspiring. Love it. Epic artist. Thank you so much. This is. Thank you again for taking the time to leave this review.

[00:01:29] Wendi: And just for your kind words, they're super inspiring. And honestly, like I said before, and I continue to say each and every week, it really means a lot to me because this not only helps other military women find this podcast, but it really gives. More a sense of direction on where we're going with this podcast and how it's impacting you specifically, regardless of when you listen to this podcast, when you listen to this episode.

[00:01:54] Wendi: So thank you so much again, and if you haven't left me a review, please, I need you to [00:02:00] pause this episode and go leave me a review in this moment, because it really will mean the world to me, and it will continue to reach other military women that are possibly struggling with. Overwhelm and indulging in overwhelm and possibly just need a sense of direction on how to understand how their mind is working and how they could possibly be.

[00:02:22] Wendi: Deal with their negative emotions that are coming up each and every single day, because that's the truth. Ladies, our negative emotions will come regardless of what stage of our lives we're in, regardless of the time, regardless of what may be happening around us, just because of the nature of our mind, the nature of our primitive brain that wants to lead us into possibly like the worst case scenario.

[00:02:45] Wendi: So take a moment to pause this episode and I would be grateful. I would greatly appreciate it. All right. And now into today's topic. So when it comes to. Being resourceful. Like that's where I want to start because [00:03:00] we, as military leaders, as a military woman in the military, we become very resourceful.

[00:03:06] Wendi: Like I remember like when we go to the field or when I used to go to the field, even when I was in basic training when I was in ROTC. Um, and when I was in the field, when I was on active duty, there were times where, although I packed everything I needed, uh, that I knew I was going to need. There was still a time.

[00:03:25] Wendi: I still had to become resourceful. And it's just the nature of us one being a woman, right? Like we need different things than what men would need. So becoming resourceful resource, voice, something that has become, um, Pretty much our instinct when it comes to going into the field or just being in the military in general.

[00:03:46] Wendi: Right? Like we, um, become resourceful when, um, even getting ready for the day. Right? Like we have to find ways to do our hair in a shorter period of time. Um, find ways to, [00:04:00] um, pack our meals because we know that, um, this specific day we're going to, um, be out in training. So we have to become resources. When it comes to us being in training or just our day to day environment, work environment.

[00:04:18] Wendi: And also as mothers, we sometimes have to become resourceful. When, you know, we have little ones that are possibly spitting up all over the place, and now we have to use different things to help them, um, you know, get taken care of. Okay, take a different blanket and use it as their clothing for that moment, because we actually thought we weren't going to need anything when we stepped out of the house, but then come to find out, um, my child decides to spit up two or three times on the way there or while we're there.

[00:04:52] Wendi: So again, we have become resourceful in a way. It's kind of normal for us, right. It's normal for us to, [00:05:00] um, be able to work with, uh, two soldiers and set of 10, right? Like we don't have the resources like most of the time. And if you haven't experienced this in your military career, I promise you, you will, we have to become resourceful.

[00:05:13] Wendi: We sometimes need a five vehicles to get something done, but we will possibly only even have to write. And then that's where we have to get creative and become more resourceful with the things that we already do have with the resources that we already do have. Now here's what becomes interesting when it comes time to, uh, Being intentional with quality time with your family or even with yourself, right?

[00:05:39] Wendi: Like, let's just say you are single, you're not married. You don't have any kids. You don't have any, um, anyone to go home to per se, besides possibly a pet. Right? Like most of us have pets, but let's say you don't even have a pet, but you still don't seem to find the time to do things that you want to do [00:06:00] for yourself.

[00:06:01] Wendi: Like to spend time for yourself, like. Start a new hobby learn a different language, started degree, whatever it may be. And then even more so when you now have a family, right when you're married or you're just a single mom and you have two kids or three kids or one child, and you still seem as if you can't create valuable intentional time, almost like quality time to create intentional time with them.

[00:06:31] Wendi: So this is what. One of my friends was telling me that she could not find time to just spend quality time because someone's always calling her. Someone's always sending her a message. Like she just doesn't realize that she's spending time, um, cooking and then she has something else going on. And then she just feels as if, when it comes time to spend quality time with her little ones, she just feels tired.

[00:06:59] Wendi: She feels. [00:07:00] Now she is active duty, but she also gets off a little earlier than the normal military. That's what I like to call it because although she still gets off a little earlier, which by the way is 4:00 PM, 1600 an hour earlier. And for someone who may be three hours earlier than when you get off, but.

[00:07:23] Wendi: All I was hearing or what I was listening as she was telling me like what her dilemma was or that she didn't plan. Obviously this time ahead of time, this wasn't something that she planned on doing planned on being intentional with, because for her that it was already a lot going on. Like getting home, getting the kids, um, something to do while she prepares dinner or she has to pick up dinner and then go pick up the kids from daycare.

[00:07:53] Wendi: And then she. It needs to focus on making sure that they're occupied and then her husband gets [00:08:00] home and then they talk. And then next thing you know, they're, you know, cleaning up the kitchen kitchen, and then they are trying to juggle both to the kids. So by the time it's bath time, there isn't really anything else that they want to do besides scaled-down or besides, um, just spending time together, alone, because they have.

[00:08:21] Wendi: So, this is what I offered her, and this is what I want to offer each. And one of you ladies that are possibly struggling with this when you want to be intentional about your time, but you're like, I don't have time to be intentional and plan the time that I want to spend with my family on purpose because in our minds, we're like that takes time and that's going to take away more time from what I'm already doing in this moment.

[00:08:44] Wendi: So this is what I want to offer. Taking a moment to take a step. And just allow yourself to be honest, be honest with how much time you actually want to give. They provide as quality time with either [00:09:00] your kids, your pets, your spouse, your significant other, whatever it may be. But again, if this is going to work as well, if you're completely single and you have no pets, no kids.

[00:09:12] Wendi: And if you want to find time to. Um, get into a relationship, get into dating. This is also applicable when it comes to doing that. Because again, remember being resourceful with a time that you do have, and even if it's only 15 minutes, that you are willing to provide that quality time to that one individual to that thing that you want to do, like dating, whatever it may be.

[00:09:41] Wendi: Just being honest about. That specific timeframe. So that's step number one. Step. Number two is actually being realistic with the time that you already do have, right? So like, let's just say that you only have one hour of time that you see your [00:10:00] kids in the evening because you get home at six, you pick them up from daycare, from school, then you go home with something to cook.

[00:10:08] Wendi: And let's just say that there's the one hour window that you have before you go. And the quality time that you are choosing to spend it is with your child. Let's just say you have one hour only, right? Realistically there's only no more than one hour. So now you've intentionally decided you were honest with yourself and you're like, I can only do 15 minutes because that's the only time I will give myself because I have 30 other things to get done before I go to bed.

[00:10:40] Wendi: So now. You are one being honest about the intentional time to you're being realistic with the time that you will have, right? You can't say that you'll have, um, two hours because you know that that will not be realistic every day. But instead you do know that [00:11:00] there will be that one hour that you have to implement those 15 minutes that you want to spend with your child.

[00:11:08] Wendi: So that's step number two. Being realistic about the time that you actually will have for that week, for that day or each day. I'm sorry. So then the next step, step number three is going to that child, right? Going to your son or your daughter, or if you are planning these 15 minutes with your husband, you're planning this 15 minutes on, uh, focusing on dating, whatever it may be.

[00:11:37] Wendi: You go. To that person, that individual. And in this example, I'm using your child, you go to your child and you ask your child. What is it that you would like to do with mommy for, um, on this day? Or is there something that you want to do? You ask your child what they want to do? And if you have more than one child, you want to ask them [00:12:00] individually because they are.

[00:12:02] Wendi: Everyone is different. And most importantly, your kids are very different, different, and you know that their personalities are completely different. Especially if you have a son and a daughter, like I do, they love to do different things and you want to be able to do the things that they want to do. Not only the things that you want to do, or the things that you want to spend time doing with them, but you want to be able to ask them.

[00:12:28] Wendi: Individually specifically what they would love to do. So for example, my son loves to play basketball. He loves when I go outside and I spend time with him either just, um, helping him when he's practicing or just sitting there and just watching him and listening to everything he is sharing with. His passion, which is basketball right now.

[00:12:49] Wendi: And for my daughter, she doesn't like to go outside as much, but she loves to just tell me about her day. She just wants to share with me in very detail, everything that [00:13:00] she did in school talked about with her friends. She just wants to have a conversation with me. So then I know individually what my child wants to do, what each child wants to do.

[00:13:10] Wendi: So that's September. You want to really understand what that other individual wants to do with that time that you will have together. Now let's just say you have babies. Let's just say you have, um, toddlers that can't necessarily tell you exactly what they want to do, but you kind of know what they like, what they enjoy doing, what they enjoy, um, building creating.

[00:13:34] Wendi: Then that's something that you can start implementing, right? You kind of, yeah. Ask them. And they will say yes or no, because again, remember kids, they don't really think about planning or, um, that there's such a thing as time right now. They just want to do at the whatever time, it may be certain things.

[00:13:54] Wendi: And the same thing with your spouse, with your husband, you want to ask him, you know, what is it you want to [00:14:00] do? Like what. Do you want to do for these 15 minutes? Like, do you want to talk, do you want to, um, just go over what plans do we have for the holidays? Whatever it may be, whatever you and your husband come up with, but you want to be very specific.

[00:14:20] Wendi: So step number three is asking them for them to be very specific so that you can then. I want to step number four, you can honor it. You can do it. You will now then have this thing that you want to do that I'm sorry that they want to do, and that you'll do with them. Right. So even if it's 15 minutes a day, that will put you at, um, 30 minutes, two days.

[00:14:49] Wendi: So that would put you, um, for a total of six days of those 15 minutes. No. It doesn't have to be 15 minutes. It could be 30 [00:15:00] minutes. It could be an hour, whatever time it is. I promise you, you can at least squeeze in two hours per week, even if it's. All on Saturday or on Sunday, but this is, this is what I want you to be aware of, or be conscious of that, even though it may only be two hours or an hour or 30 minutes per week, you are setting that time intentionally with your children, with your husband, with your friend, with a, um, taking opportunity to.

[00:15:39] Wendi: Get away from everything else that's happening in your mind, all these other things that are important to you or that need to be done. And you're really freeing yourself from the possible guilty. You may be filling in the future, the possible overwhelm because now. You know, that you didn't spend time with the people that you love, the people that are important to [00:16:00] you, the quality time that you wanted.

[00:16:02] Wendi: So instead of doing all of that and knowing that that will happen. So instead of going through that, you can just do this ahead of time. You can be resourceful with the time that you do have and set some time apart for your family, for the, um, things that you want to get done. With them. So again, being able to understand that one, you have to be honest about the time that you were willing to give this individual, it could be your children.

[00:16:34] Wendi: It could be your husband. It could be the dating app, whatever it may be, because at the end of the day, this is something that you're doing for you. Being resourceful with the time that you do have for you too. You then look at what time you do have, right? Like how much time do you actually have per day?

[00:16:53] Wendi: Because remember we're being resourceful here. We don't want to plan something. Um, based on what we don't already [00:17:00] have. We want to plan it based on all the time that we do have already in using the time wisely. So that's step number two. Step number three is being specific. Ask. That individual, your children, your child, your husband, and even yourself.

[00:17:19] Wendi: Exactly. What is it that you want to do during that time? Right. Like I said earlier, you want to ask your child what exactly he or she wants to focus on what he or she loves to do and wants to spend more time doing with mommy, right? Like that way you get a specific answer on, oh, I want to go to the park.

[00:17:37] Wendi: I want to play basketball. I want to. Put a puzzle together, whatever it may be, you ask that person specifically what it is that they want to do so that you can then step number four is honoring it, doing it, adding, adding it to your calendar, um, following through with spending quality and intentional time with the people that you love.

[00:17:58] Wendi: So yes, you can be [00:18:00] resourceful with the time that you do have, right. Even if it's an hour a day, even if it's 30 minutes a day, that you do have find some time that you can create to spend quality time. For you and your family and lady, if this resonated with you and you want to take a step deeper in creating a strategy so that you can not only be more intentional with your time personally, with your career, but also in your faith and with your family, I can help you.

[00:18:25] Wendi: So schedule a free session with me, go to wendiwray.com/freesession so that I can help you get started on a plan to help you create more 

[00:18:34] Wendi: for what really matters to you. All right, lady, have a beautiful rest of the week bye. If this podcast helped you, challenged you or inspired you in some way, please leave me a written review for the show on apple podcasts and share it with another military sister, helping you integrate balance prioritization and growth in your relationship with God is my.

[00:18:54] Wendi: I'm so blessed that you were here and please join us in the faith lender, military woman, community on Facebook [00:19:00] at Bit.ly/beyondthemilitary.grp Hope to see you there and I'll meet you back here next week. Bye.